Conversations Kill!

Yeah, that's a pretty cynical title. I'm in one of those moods tonight. Nope, not in a good way. I had several conversations in the past few days that have altered my plans for the rest of the year. Sorry, but this post is going to be in a darker prose. One of the conversations I've referenced here is the news that I have a complete tear in my left labrum. Now, for the 6th grader in all of us I said labrum, and not labia. Why is this relavant you ask? Well, my shoulder is barely holding on for dear life, and I'm going to attempt to finish my scheduled runs for this year hoping it doesn't dislocate on a daily or weekly basis. Tomorrow, I schedule surgery for December 2012, and start my aggressive pre-hab program. This type of surgery is tough, and recovery is mixed. I feel I have a very capable surgeon, it's the rehab process that sucks. I'll loose all the muscle I've worked hard to build. So, my schedule is to have surgery in December. Heal, and start rehab ASAP. I can then train enough to run LA LA Marathon on March 17th of 2013. I'll then increase rehab, and start to train for the LA triathlon in September 2013. In between, I'm sure I'll have some runs and start towards and aggressive weight and endurance regiment. It looks like if I can get past the immobilization phase and out and running, I should be fine. This is going to be a tough test of my mental strength. Physically, I'm up to any challenge, it's the not being able to train and the dog days of rehab that are going to be difficult. I've accepted the surgery and now I have to prep for it. I've managed to dislocate my shoulder 3 times since yesterday, and it's been awesome, NOT REALLY! I'll never get used to that pain. Nonetheless, I'm an athlete, and accept that my body is now dealing with all the punishment from football in my earlier days. The days when I felt invincible. Where I felt like no matter how much I weighed if I was somehow able to get my pad level lower I would topple the defender, who clearly outweighed me. It was a badge of honor to deliver the "kill" blocks. It was pride to stand in the pocket and deliver that dart over the middle with timing and accuracy, and not worry about the defender who's coming free on a blitz and is going to level you while you're fully extended. Missing a protection, having the "kat" come in unblocked and he would just kill you from the blind side. Climbing the pocket, side stepping the rush, breking contain and running down the field. Instead of sliding to live another day you said to yourself. Here's my chance, lower your shoulder and punish him!!! Was it machismo, pride, narcism, recklessness or carelessness? Call it what you want. All I have now are conversations that kill....


Fernando